Feeling quite happy now.... but, i can't tell you why... haha... its only for me to know.... yup yup.... well, didn't do much today.... went to the gym in the morning as usual... but beng was sick so he couldn't come and akil had to go for some workshop thing leaving only david and myself.... and david was pretty mad at me cause i didn't tell him that i was leaving earlier... haha... sorry man.... i didn't know that lp would be sick.... and i still managed to accompany you for lunch didn't i? haha.... well, after gym, i met up with a friend for lunch.... well, that's bout all that happened.... haha... boring day huh? but i feel that it was a pretty good day... once again, i can't tell you why.... lalala..... haha.... sorry yah, i'm not quite myself today.... i think i better stop now before i go any crazier.... cheers people!! love ya all!! haha... PeACe!!


Riz lost himself at 9/26/2004 01:21:00 am

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well, this evening i helped out at the chinese orchestra performance at the auditorium.... i was doing the spotlight thingy, and i muz admit it was pretty cool handling that piece of equipment.... haha..... even though i had to stand for 2 whole hours in a dark room all by myself, i still enjoyed myself.... cause i was doing something different, something that i had never done before.... it was cool in that sense.... i was doing the spotlight at the right side of the auditorium while leroy did the left part.... i'm quite impressed with leroy.... he's definately someone with potential.... i hope he will bring pals to a higher level than before.... and i think the new batch can do it.... well, let's come back to the performance.... it was actually pretty good.... xiao na, my teammate at campfocus, was in the performance and i think she did a fabulous job! what a fantastic girl! haha...

the whole day today, i wasn't really in the mood for class.... during the 3 labs, i was kind of thinking bout that stuff..... bout why it is happening again.... until i got that message.... well, it was no consolation but it did brighten up my day a bit... then i got more messages in the evening while i was helping out at the performance..... and those messages did make me feel better.... though i don't really know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing.... only time will tell....

oh ya, i'm really happy for akil! he told me a very good news.... haha.... but i'm not allowed to say it.... haha.... well, good for you man.... i knew you had the charms!! haha.... i'm stopping here for now.... see ya!


Riz lost himself at 9/25/2004 01:44:00 am

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its happening to me again.... wth.... it seems that whenever i do that, this always happens.... what luck man.... sigh.....


Riz lost himself at 9/23/2004 11:30:00 pm

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feeling pretty shagged... haha.... i've been sleeping ever since i got back from the dance performance at the swiss club for the octoberfest.... but i still feel tired.... what only man... haha.... the performance was pretty good... though we messed up the 2nd dance pretty bad.... cause the timing was wrong and stuff.... but we can't blame anyone for that, cause we have only been practising the new dance for two days... considering that, i think we did a pretty good job.... the actual thing wasn't really tiring, the thing that was tiring was when the kids who were there joined in the dance with us and we were like swamped with all these kids who were suddenly all around us.... it was a terrifying experience! haha.... no lah, it was pretty cool... but the energy of those kids was enough to kill us.... and to think some of their parents even joined in.... wth... haha.... trying to kill us is it? and the worse thing is, the bloody emcee kept saying "one more time" over and over again.... it was like never ending..... that bastard! haha... our arms were aching and we were sweating all over after the dance.... but it was worth it man.... the kids were so so cute!!! haha.... german kids are so spontaneous.... they don't seem shy at all.... it was cool.... oh ya, selva and i saw a pretty sweet looking german babe! woo hoo! haha....

i'm feeling pretty high now... haha.... especially after the dance... hehe... i don't want to expect too much but at the same time, i also know that it is possible.... but i regret not doing what i think i should have done today.... well, i'll have other chances... hopefully.... but... who cares, i'm happy now.... haha.... oh man, tmr is monday.... i hate mondays.... i have 5 hours of the same lab... wth.... what to do.... i also received the dreaded red letter from the army... although i still have bout more than half a year left, it still reminds me that i am getting old... haha.... well, i'm stopping here for now.... cheers!!


Riz lost himself at 9/19/2004 09:18:00 pm

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very very disappointed in myself.... pissed at myself.... mad at myself..... i got back my common test results today, all three.... it was bad.... and i mean really bad.... my results was juz crap.... its as simple as that.... crap, that's what it is.... sigh... well, i can't say that i was surprised... i knew i didn't do well, but i didn't know that i did that badly.... bloody hell.... ah beng, wait for me man.... we go army together... haha... well, you ain't seen the last of me yet.... i'm gonna bounce back.... i'll be back! haha....

oh ya, i sent akil off yesterday morning.... and david came too.... was really surprised man.... i really didn't think that he would come.... haha... akil was in a pretty good mood before he left.... i'm proud of him man.... he's going to make a name for himself, i'm sure.... to be selected for something like this is a great achievement.... he's better than me in so many ways.... he's a great leader, charming, witty and funny.... what more can you ask of a man.... i hope i don't sound too gay here... haha.... but seriously, akil is such a great guy who has so much potential to be someone in the future.... you rock dude!!

i've been getting signals all week.... and i'm not sure what to think of it.... cause i'm afraid that i might interpret it wrongly.... but what if it was meant in "that" way.... what should i do.... am i such a stupid guy that i can't even tell what it means... maybe i am.... i have never been good in this type of things and i probably never will.... maybe i should juz go forward and clear everything at once.... but if i am wrong, it would be disasterous.... what the hell man.... am i a man or what? why am i so indecisive? gutless freak....


Riz lost himself at 9/18/2004 01:23:00 am

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bloody pissed now..... firstly, one of my classmate.... before our common tests, she suggested the idea that the whole class wear formal for the presentation tmr.... and the lecturer agreed.... and the most of us had no choice but to agree reluctantly.... but you know what, juz now one of my friends told me that the bugger of a classmate told him that she is not wearing formal tmr.... wtf.... and she didn't even inform the class about it.... what kind of a bloody attitude is that! she thinks she's so big.... idiot.... i mean, i'm glad i don't have to wear formal and all, but she should have at least have the decency to tell us.... she wants us to look like fools tmr, is that it? when she and her group of friends are not wearing formal and we are... we as in the people who do not want to wear formal and them as in those people who were so enthusiastic in suggesting the idea of wearing formal in the first place.... a bunch of inconsiderate idiots....

the second thing that is pissing me off has also got to do with my friends.... the four of us kind of agreed to send akil off at the airport tmr.... and now, its like they can't even give me a bloody confirmation whether they are coming tmr.... its like they are all waiting for each other to actually confirm before they make a decision.... wth.... where have all the enthusiasm gone to? bloody disappointed man... i guess that's juz life...


Riz lost himself at 9/15/2004 09:41:00 pm

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it has been quite a tiring day.... and yet i still don't want to sleep... haha... that's juz me i guess... went to the gym in the afternoon with beng and david.... david was late as usual.... haha.... but i'm not gonna say much cause i was a little late myself... hahas....then after gym, david suggested going to the movies.... and so we went off to bishan.... when we reached j8, we realised that the movies that we wanted to see wasn't shown there... what the hell... should have checked earlier.... then we decided to go to town.... we all knew that it was the weekend but NOO, we still went to town.... and in the end, we were like walking around town to the diff cinemas cause all of them were super packed.... stupid us man.... we finally settled for pool at cuppage... feel so stupid now.... haha....

a lot of things have happened in my circle of friends..... especially in these few weeks.... it has been really shocking to know bout some of the things that has happened..... don't know if its for the better or for the worse, guess we can only wait and see... but things are different now.... i really don't know why some people do the things that they do.... but who am i to judge them.... i mean, i sometimes do things that i can't even explain myself.... but then again, do they know what they are getting themselves into? i'm juz worried as a friend.... i can only hope for the best for them.....

oh ya, was chatting with mx juz now.... kinda miss those peeps from camp focus... haha.... well, i'm stopping here for now.... tschus!!


Riz lost himself at 9/12/2004 01:21:00 am

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finally..... my common tests are finally over.... but kinda having mixed emotions bout it.... i mean i'm glad that's it finally over but then again, i know i didn't do particularly well for it.... crap.... especially the rf paper.... it was a damn bloody killer paper.... thought that it was going to be the easiest paper but in the end it turned out to be the hardest.... and the paper that i thought was going to be the hardest turned out to be the easiest.... what the hell..... like i have always said, the things that you expect to happen doesn't happen, instead the things that you don't expect to happen will happen.... that's life...

well, after my paper this morning, i went to the gym with david and ah beng.... and something really unlucky happened to david... his money was stolen.... while we were walking out after gym, david realised that his wallet was missing.... then we started searching for his wallet in the gym toilet.... but it was nowhere to be found... then i suggested that we go down to the counter to check if they had found any wallet.... and juz as i thought, his wallet was there.... but all his money was gone.... the lady told us that someone had found the wallet in the toilet below the gym and that the guy had passed the wallet to her.... wtf.... that bloody bastard had the cheek to steal the wallet and then dump it at the toilet juz like that after taking the money.... what the hell is the world coming to?! and the funny thing is, i put my wallet outside my bag which potentially makes it easier to steal but the thief had to steal david's wallet which was inside his jeans which was in his bag.... bloody clever thief i muz say.... i will kill that bastard if i find out who he is.... how dare he.... ass..... pardon my language.... i'm juz really mad....

oh ya, next thurs, akil will be leaving for vietnam.... cool siah.... haha... he'll be performing at this arts festival there..... so cool man... and i also heard he'll be doing another performance for some UN stuff or something like that.... yea, i'm really happy for him..... he's like a star now man.... woo hoo!!! hehe... and the best thing is, i won't have to see him until the following tues or wed.... hahahaha.... finally, some peace.... hehe..... juz kidding dude.... juz don't forget the stuff you promised to get us.... hehe..... well take care peeps, i'm stopping here for now.... cheers!


Riz lost himself at 9/10/2004 01:52:00 am

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i'm back!!!! haha.... yea, i got back last night.... camp focus was great.... seriously.... it is definitely one of the best camps i have ever been to.... and i'm not saying that juz for the sake of it.... i really mean it.... this is one camp that i will go through all over again if given the chance... it was a pretty emotional experience for me too... i don't know why, but i actually cried while i was presenting some stuff bout my life story to my team members..... i think i gave them quite a shock..... yea, go ahead and laugh at me.... i don't care.... it juz happened, it wasn't as if i wanted it to happen.... and i also met many different people who have gone through so much in their lives that i felt really really ashamed of myself for complaining bout petty little things.... especially this one girl.... when she was telling us bout her life story, i juz wanted to bury my face somewhere cause i felt really ashamed to face her..... i've never met anyone so strong before in my entire life..... i salute her bravery.... and i totally respect her for that....

it was juz a great experience for me going through this camp..... i learned a lot bout myself..... i met so many special people and leaders in the form of my team mates who in my eyes, were way way better than me in so many ways..... i can juz try to learn from them.... people like sid, mx, hajah, marziya, yong tai, alan, xiao na.... sorry if miss out some of you.... these are people who are really talented.... they were always patient with me throughout the two days and even when i made mistakes during some of the games, they never scolded me or got angry at me, instead they were encouraging me..... that, i believe, is a true virtue of a great leader.... once again, i can only try to learn from them.... these two paragraphs is a tribute to all those people that i've mentioned.... Long live the HUKACHAKA spirit!!! HUKA!!!! haha....

as for myself, i think i did ok in the camp.... like i've said, there were so many better leaders in my team, but i think i manage to hold my own in some areas.... i was particularly happy with my contribution to the team during the last day when we were having the trialathon race.... *pardon me if i spelt it wrongly* there was swimming, rock climbing and running.... for the running leg, it was a 4x400 metres race and i was the anchor runner... in fact i volunteered myself for the run as i felt that was the only thing that i was good at compared to the other two..... well, i would like to think that i ran pretty well.... i managed to overtake two runners who were way in front of me in the beginning of my run.... i know its no big deal, but i felt pretty good to finally do something really meaningful to the team.... we came in second in the race and also in the overall standings at the end of the camp.... i left the camp feeling tired but motivated.... thanks once again to the people from camp focus....

oh ya, i found out that one of my team mates, mx, is actually clare's classmate.... haha.... how cool is that..... what a coincidence.... yea, clare's the girl who has been terrorising akil and sham.... haha.... today i went for NypPal's election of the new committee.... was helping to sort out the votes and all.... in the end, the so called favourites did emerged tops... but nothing's confirmed yet, cause the advisors will be meeting and we will have to get their approval and stuff.... well, i'm stopping here for the day.... take care peeps!!!


Riz lost himself at 9/01/2004 11:26:00 pm

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